Cover
6.8/10
Oh man. This is a sad book. The unnamed narrator is a middle school student in 1990 Japan. He is ruthlessly bullied and has a lazy eye. He has been tormented for years and is all alone in this world. That is until he finds a note from a classmate in his pencil case. The sender is Kojima, a girl in his class who is also bullied. She is bullied because she has "signs". Signs are remembrances she purposefully has in order to keep her father's spirit alive in her. She doesn't wash, wears dirty clothes, and doesn't eat enough. They become friends. They continue writing each other notes and occasionally meet in person. However, no matter how close they become neither one sticks up for one another when the other gets bullied at school.
One summer day the narrator and Kojima go on a trip to a museum to see what Kojima calls "heaven". Heaven is a painting that she likes very much. While on this trip they bond and become even closed. Kojima tells the narrator that she likes his eyes. Something that he has never heard before.
The narrator one days gets beaten so bad he goes to the hospital. There he sees and confronts one of his bullies. He asks why all this torment is directed towards him and the bully just says that is the way life works. He doesn't care about him and isn't going to stop because he has fun doing it. The bully tells him that if he wants it to stop then to do something about it. The narrator knows he wont have the strength to do anything.
The narrator's doctor tells him that fixing his lazy eye would be not a problem and a cheap one at that. Not sure what to do with this news he tells Kojima. Kojima is upset. She thinks that their "signs" is what makes them them. She says to allow the bullying to happen is what makes them bigger people than their bullies. She allows it because she allows it. Kojima shies away from the narrator and stops replying to his notes.
One day she finally agrees to meet up with him at the place they first met. Turns out the bullies intercepted the letter and forced Kojima to reply to the narrator. There they attempt to get the narrator and Kojima to have sex in front of them. The narrator can't do anything to stop it. He is frozen. Meanwhile Kojima strips naked and scares off the bullies. An old lady intervenes and this is the last time the narrator and Kojima see each other.
The narrator gets the eye surgery. His life changes. Finally things are in focus and the colors he sees so much more vibrant.
I took down some notes while reading this book. I am just going to write them here exactly as I wrote them initially. Trapped in a helpless situation. "Next year it'll get better". Staying in room. No one to talk to. Suicide a way out. But what comes after death. Cold November. One friend that you can relate with and not feel so alone. So insecure that you can't even turn your head in class. Not leaving room. Escape reality via books. Doctor is that one adult that wants to help but isn't quiet sure how. Don't want to disappoint parents. Momose is an asshole. Doesn't care. Thinks that nothing matters. Seasons bring back memories.
